Chapter 2 Kindergarten

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Richard was back in the kindergarten but this time he had been tied with a thick sailor’s rope and couldn’t move. He wondered whether dwarfs had much of this kind of rope in case they happened to kidnap humans more frequently. His tool set was taken away from him, his shirt was dirty from the soil from the playground.

‘Mr. Innocent,’ Frank took a small plastic children chair, placed it in front of Richard and sat with his legs crossed, ‘You are a smart man, I believe. Why make things so difficult for both of us? We checked that you have no family: no wife and no children. There’s no one who you will be abandoning. You like your job so you can perform your duties at our place. We can offer you shelter, food, and company. I don’t mind that you are a human. We are indifferent towards the human race. We have been living in caves and human sheds for centuries. We observed you from the distance. But, you see, times have changed. We also want decent living conditions. Running water, electricity, cooked food. We sold some of our gold and bought this building. It’s a great place. We are proud of it.’

‘But why do you want me? Can’t you just teach your kind the plumbing work?’

‘Oh, Mr. Innocent, if it was so simple. You see, for centuries our work was mining. It was long before these mining machines that made everything easier. We were everywhere! Gold mines, jewel mines, silver mines, copper mines! We have quite a lot left from these times hidden in various places all over the world. We are, I’m just being honest with you, quite well off. And we were really good at our work. Pretty damn good! But we aren’t particularly skillful at managing modern buildings, we know nothing about running water, we can only build a well, if you please. You have to understand us, we try to fit in. We try not to catch anyone’s attention. We do realize that we are a different species living among humans. We politely reject parents’ offers to put their children in our place, saying that we are all booked. We try not to raise any problems and suspicions. We don’t wish to cause any trouble.’

‘But why me?’

‘Mr. Innocent, let me be honest with you. We have been observing you for some time. You have a craft in your hands. And that’s really important to us. We respect people who can work and do it well. It’s in our blood. Hard work. Digging in those mines wasn’t the easiest profession, believe me. You are a good representative of your kind. You don’t cause any trouble. And you don’t have a family. We learned that taking your kind from the family might have terrible consequences.’

‘How did you learn that?’

Frank started tapping one of his feet again.

‘You’re not the first human we took to the kindergarten. Some ten years ago we took a cook. A decent woman. First, she thought that she would be cooking for children. She cooked very tasty dishes. We were all very pleased with our breakfast, dinners, suppers and afternoon snacks, all very regular and tasty. But after some time she noticed that we were not children. She was shocked, she wanted to run away. That is why I told you from the very beginning, not to make you disappointed. She didn’t take it very well. The food got worse...’

‘What happened to her?’ Richard felt the tight ropes cutting into the skin of his ankles.

‘Unfortunately, she decided to finish with herself. We were devastated. She took our laundry threads and hanged herself. Later on, we thought that she missed her family. It was a mistake to keep her here forever. Now we check the background of our employees.’

Richard didn’t know what to say. He would say that he was dreaming but the pain of being tied too tight was felt too intensively.

‘So do you cook yourself now?’, he asked sarcastically.

‘Of course not, Mr. Innocent. We order catering. There are many places you can order food from. Company catering, event catering. These options are actually very entertaining and we don’t complain. We even have a regular Mr. Sandwich with snacks for lunch and occasionally we organize feasts. Very tasty, indeed.’

‘So can’t you do the same with plumbing?’

Frank frowned.

‘You see, we cannot let inside a new plumber every time we have a malfunction. It’s too risky. We arranged that the catering food is left at our entrance and our guys take it inside. No immediate contact with the catering company. This is a different matter.’

‘So why don’t you hire me to come here regularly? I could come and repair it each time there’s something wrong.’

Frank raised his eyebrow.

‘You believe that we are naive. We cannot risk that you will abandon us. Or tell someone about our hideout. Again, I have to be honest with you. The selection process of your person was quite lengthy. We cannot risk wasting additional time. You just have to get used to the kindergarten. It’s quite a pleasant, enjoyable and hospitable place. Unless you break some rules, of course. Then, it can be nasty. I suggest you calm down, get used to the idea. Once you’re fine with it, we will take off these ropes. They must be quite uncomfortable. Once you cooperate with us, you will be able to go around as you please. Now, I have to abandon you. I have some administrative functions to perform. Goodbye.’

It actually took Richard over a day to finally give up, as he couldn’t feel his feet, he desperately wanted to go to the toilet and he was hungry. Frank cut off his ties and gave him yesterday’s sandwich and leftover dinner. Richard consumed it all. Later on, Frank led him to a little attic room, gave him a pillow and a blanket.

‘You will sleep here. I arranged that this room will belong only to you. You have to use communal toilets. The size was designed to fit children but you will get used to it. Water closets are manageable. Believe me, we also have bigger and heavier dwarfs. We eat regularly every three hours. You will hear the bell once the food is provided. Sometimes we eat outside if the weather is nice. You can get to know some of the dwarfs. Maybe you will make friends. In the afternoon you can check the kitchen sinks. They haven’t been used for a while. If you want to ask me any further questions, you will find me in the room 7A on the first floor. Ask for Frank First Aid Kit.’

Richard sat on the floor and looked at his new room. It was a tiny room, maybe eight, nine square meters, but for the dwarfs, it was more than enough. It had a little window that let in the sun but even his head was too big to stick it through it without any blockage. Through the window, he could see dwarfs playing outside, sitting in little conversation circles, socializing and laughing. Some of them smiled from time to time with the same nastiness Frank had exposed to him before. Richard didn’t want to go out that day. He ate what Frank brought him and he didn’t feel the need to socialize with the little ones. In the afternoon, he checked the kitchen sinks. One of them was clogged. It needed a new drain system. He didn’t have any spare parts with him, so he informed Frank what would be needed. In the kitchen cupboards, he found clothes, a large size dress, and underwear, apparently belonging to the cook. All were folded in a square pile. Under the sink, he found two low-heeled shoes. They also had to belong to the cook. He wondered what dwarfs did with her body.

Kindergarten looked like a standard kindergarten. It was full of little furniture, little nap-time folded beds, little tools, little cutlery and crockery matching the size of dwarfs’ hands. There were toys and crayons lying on the tables, happy colorful pictures were hanging on the walls and carpets imitated little railway stations and highways: little boys’ paradise to play. And there were over a hundred little dwarfs, dressed in children clothes, who passed him, looked at him and smiled in this nasty unexplained way that gave Richard shivers. He went upstairs, locked himself up in the room, wrapped up in his blanket and fell asleep, hoping that it was just a dream.

There was one problem which Richard didn’t think through and the dwarfs thought way too carefully about. There was actually no one who would notice his disappearance. The wife and children might actually be more than appreciated, especially while he was imprisoned and had no contact with the outside world, which would give him some hope to be freed.