Chapter 8 Ginger George

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Ginger George was a small dwarf. His hair was ginger, so among the Georges (Fair George and Black George) he was called Ginger George to distinguish him from the rest. When he was born, he was in poor health and everybody treated him with care and turned a blind eye on his misdeeds. He burst into tears, saying that he was weak and he would die in terrible pains if he didn’t get this or that. This technique from parents’ house he took to school. Ginger George didn’t really believe in rules. When children were playing board games he bent them, crying and screaming, to win the first turn no matter what number of dots he threw on the cube. If somebody didn’t agree on his ways, he would threaten:

‘I want you to die! I don’t want you to win! I don’t want you to be happy!’, which back then no one treated seriously, as Ginger George was only a child and children say silly things. Apart from stealing (and killing) Frank’s squirrel, George had many unpleasant encounters and found himself many enemies. He stepped on someone’s pencil, he destroyed someone’s picture, out of jealousy, because it was a prettier picture than his. He put a toad in someone’s bag to frighten them or revealed somebody’s secret to put this person in a bad light while placing himself in the good one. Johnny told Richard these things, as from time to time they popped up from his memory, reaching times from over a hundred years ago.

At school, there was a girl who everyone adored. Not only was she pretty, but also she was smart and helpful. She was called Wonderful Wendy, her friends called her Wicked Wendy, as she organized mad parties and everybody had fun at her place. One time, Ginger George, who wasn’t invited to the party, reported on her, and all Wendy’s guests including Wendy had to spend a day in the dungeon for disturbing the peace. Actually, it wasn’t a harsh punishment as all dwarfs also had fun in the dungeon: Wonderful Wendy could make any place feel like home. Wonderful Wendy charmed everybody with her blond curly hair, curvy hips, and full breasts. For Valentine’s day, she received dozens of cards, bouquets and chocolate boxes. Women dwarfs could be jealous of her but they couldn’t resist her charm and also sent her cards, flowers, and chocolates. Ginger George was secretly in love with Wendy, but he took more pleasure from putting her friends into trouble than making her realize that hurting her was his way of saying that he was attracted.

‘You’re an idiot, George!’, she said to him after that night in the dungeon ‘You cannot make everybody miserable because you’re not having fun.’

‘Actually, I can. If I don’t have fun, why should you?’

‘You know, George, you cannot steal everything. You cannot deprive everybody of their happiness. This is sick.’

Ginger George didn’t think in this way. One of the first rules that he set up as the Highest Dwarf (and that was in the first week of his reign) was the choice of his wife. He had to choose a wife and the choice fell on Wonderful Wendy. Billy Strong Fist organized the wedding. The food wasn’t that great, the music was terrible and Wonderful Wendy was shaking with despair, but Billy Strong Fist made sure that she didn’t escape the ceremony.

‘Poor woman’, some dwarf women commented, ‘She was the cherry on every cake. Her home parties were wonderful. She’s a pleasure to be around!’

‘Not anymore, Claudia, not anymore. It seems like a life imprisonment to me. I’m not really sure you can divorce the Highest Dwarf.’

‘Is there a rule, Betty?’

‘Not yet, but I believe this Ginger Asshole will create one. Terrible food, I tell you. This Billy Strong Fist is better suited for mugging rather than organizing feasts. He’s twice the size of Ginger George.’

There was a big sense of uncertainty among the dwarfs after Ginger George was inaugurated. Everybody knew that Wonderful Wendy wouldn’t willingly enter into marriage with Ginger George, but Billy Strong Fist was with him and some big, forceful dwarfs stood behind him, including Derek Potato, Jack Muscle, and Robin Firm Ass. Wonderful Wendy looked really wonderful that day, but that was the last feast dwarfs (including non-dwarf Richard) were ever invited to, as Ginger George tended to keep himself to himself and was rather a party pooper than a party animal.

During the first month, nothing changed much. Dwarfs used to meet at the same hour, at the same tables to eat food ordered by Stevie and his fellows. Johnny was having his scheduled classes as usual. Only Frank First Aid Kit remained unseen, which gave Richard a sense of false security. He even walked nearby the gate to find an opportunity to escape, but Billy Strong Fist with his forefinger showed him to come back and Richard knew that power may have changed but fleeing from the place was still impossible.

One day, Richard sat on the bench and spread his legs. It was the same bench on which the Highest Dwarf died not so long before. It was frequently occupied by dwarfs, as there was a sense of seclusion in its desolate location, and everybody from time to time deserved some peace and quiet. Under the bench, there was a little thrown away printed newspaper of the size of a school notebook. Richard opened it, looked at the wedding picture of Ginger George and Wonderful Wendy and started reading.

What a wonderful event it was to attend the wedding ceremony of the Highest Dwarf and beautiful Wonderful Wendy. The Highest Dwarf (Ginger George) chose Wonderful Wendy to be his wife and who wouldn’t make the same choice? We have all been in love with Wendy since we started walking and talking (I’m writing about the younger generation of Dwarfs, as when the older dwarfs were born, Wendy wasn’t yet alive). All of us fantasized about her, whether boys or girls, and being in the Highest Dwarf’s position we would all choose Wonderful Wendy for a wife. Let’s hope that the marriage will be happy and blissful despite the obvious dissatisfaction of the bride. Although Ginger George’s inauguration met with some criticism and some dwarfs doubt the appropriateness of Ginger George for the position of the Highest Dwarf, he will have to commit some disastrous deeds to be perceived as a bad luck. Kindergarten News remain open to his actions and are intrigued by his upcoming decisions. Ginger George is the consecutive one hundred seventy-first Highest Dwarf. He is the fifth George who held this position, second ginger-haired and fourth who gained power not by killing but by succession.

Will he have a tough nut to bite? Most definitely, his reign will cover the years in which dwarfs enjoy the pleasures of modern life, having for over a decade lived on the surface. Even older dwarfs, so used to damp and cold mines visit upstairs, be it out of curiosity or decadent wish to sunbathe. Our existence on the surface is a fact and that isn’t about to change. There are still problems which we have to face: dwarf-human interaction and the necessity of maintaining contacts with human race: food and plumbing, frequent controls by the officials, police bribery and parent correspondence. Some dwarfs are dissatisfied with numerous old rules, which are still in power but now rarely make sense (being held upside down for a week for stealing one dwarf’s wife or head shaving for smuggling human money into the premises of Kindergarten). Some of us are under the impression that the gates of our home should be open to humans. ‘I shit and shit and the thing is never overflown!’ Brown Bob gave this positive opinion about our personal human Richard Innocent who has been living with us and fixing our toilets. Do we need more people and should we invite them over, forgetting about our deceased cook accident? And what does the future hold for our dear dwarfs? How can we bind tradition with modernity? How can we look forward to a better future?

Your correspondent of Kindergarten News, Debbie Honest.

Richard felt weird to be mentioned in the newspaper, especially on the same page with Ginger George. There was even a small picture of him and, as opposed to newspapers which he was used to watching, it wasn’t posed, but everybody was photographed in the most unflattering position: they ate and drunk, Ginger George was picking his nose, Wonderful Wendy was crying and Richard was sitting somewhere to the right and only his leg managed to be captured in the photograph, leg as big as Billy Strong Fist standing by the side of Ginger George, yawning, tired of everything which had to do with the feast.