Chapter 11 A Wonderful Affair

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It was impossible not to fall in love with Wendy. When she came early in the morning in her lace white summer dress, her hair lovely done in a bun with ringlets all around her face, with vanilla flowers placed in her hair and little ballet shoes on her feet, Richard was helpless. He was struck by the lightning of her charm, followed her everywhere she went and was on her every wish.

They spent whole days in the garden, having a picnic on the blanket, surrounded by baskets with food and drink. He was pushing her in the sling whenever she wanted to go to the playground, he was balancing her on his knees whenever she wanted to go for a slide on the slide. He took her for a walk, organized night dinners with grapes, cheese and wine under the lights which were left after Ginger George’s inauguration. He even sold his ruby earring and (with Stevie’s help) bought Wendy bottles of perfumes, caskets with eye-shadows, blushes, and mascaras (which she really appreciated and thanks to which looked simply wonderful) and things available only in the land of humans: women magazines, small-size dresses from beauty pageants and sex toys. He wrote her poems even though he didn’t write anything in his life and possibly couldn’t.

Roses are red, flowers are blue

You’re Wonderful Wendy and I love you.

I am a human, you are a dwarf

And it will never make me barf,

To be with you evening and night,

And take from you your suicide knife.

Wendy enjoyed Richard’s company, maybe not entirely because Richard was who he was, but because he wasn’t Ginger George.

‘This is unbelievable,’ said Johnny one day ‘So many lives were taken for violating the dwarf-human interaction law and you come, seduce Wonderful Wendy and we have the problem over with! This is called politics!’

‘This is called lust, Johnny,’ Stevie didn’t share his friend’s enthusiasm, ‘If Richard is right, Wendy simply likes big boys. Everybody would do everything for Wendy. You just can’t resist her...’

‘Tell me something about it,’ Richard was lying in his room after another exhausting night with Wendy, ‘She’s insatiable!’

‘You’re the luckiest man alive!’, there was jealousy in Johnny’s voice ‘Wonderful Wendy! And you are not even married!’

‘I would be careful if I were you, Richard’, Stevie’s tone of voice was rather bleak, ‘For now Ginger George allows you to spend nights with her, but I’m not sure if he’s happy about the fact. He is a revengeful little dwarf. He won’t forgive you for seducing his wife.’

Richard would remember about Stevie’s prophetic comment if he hadn’t been head over heels with Wendy. The fact that she was a dwarf didn’t pose any problems. She was seductive, tasty, cheerful, easy to hug and throw gently in the air to catch a second later. In bed, she was a beast! Ginger George made her starving and now she was making it up for her with Richard. She made the whole world of the Kindergarten disappear for him. He forgot that he was a prisoner, he didn’t remember about Ginger George and Billy Strong Fist. He even rarely dined with Stevie and Johnny as Wendy wanted to have a pleasant get-together on the roof, behind the bushes or by the fountain. He lived her problems, advised her which dress she should wear for an official ceremony and comforted her if she was criticized in The Kindergarten News (Debbie Honest was less warm towards Wendy after her affair was exposed). Richard knew all the newest gossip, all fresh juicy rumors of who is with whom, who is getting divorced and even why all female dwarfs’ fantasy is to spend a night with Johnny Cutie, which would explain his lack of toes.

‘They just wish he would get divorced and once again be on the market. He’s irresistible!’

Richard was offended.

‘Is he also irresistible to you?’

‘Oh, teddy bear, you are irresistible, he’s just cute!’.

It was impossible to hold a grudge for Wendy for more than a minute. She made him laugh from the abundance of tickles and kissed him with her little red lips all over, so he would laugh and forget that he was ever angry with her.

Time flew by and if Richard hadn’t been in a state of total obsession with one attractive wonderful dwarf woman, he might have noticed that things around the Kindergarten started getting gloomier.

First, something happened to The Kindergarten News. It used to be an objective newspaper, which presented current affairs and observational sketches from the lives of dwarfs. First editions of The Kindergarten News dated back to the early 18^th century and in the archives, there were glimpses of, even though limited, contact that dwarfs had with human beings. They cooperated when there was famine, dwarfs being provided with food by their big fellows, humans being grateful for the dwarfs’ jewels which could save whole families from poverty and despair. In time, all human inventions were slowly incorporated into dwarfs’ lives, including electricity, machines, and internet. Over the years, dwarfs have relied on mass-produced food, factory sewn clothes, and easily assembled furniture. Now, this contact was to be curtailed. Ginger George didn’t really like human beings. Humiliated by Wendy’s affair, he hated them even more. Even the pub and the kiosk were to be closed and catering companies chosen according to his standards. Ginger George made sure that Debbie Honest, who included human press in the newspaper, resigned from her two hundred years’ career and referred her position to his trusted dwarf Vincent Discreet. Vincent Discreet didn’t write anything exceptional. He wrote about the weather. He wrote about work. Or he simply described Ginger George’s activities, adding his personal commentary, along with the lines: It was a good move. The decision should be admired. It was another unmistakable act of Ginger George, and there wasn’t much questioning and discussion afterward.

Stevie and Johnny systematically printed articles on an open injustice that took place in the Kindergarten, touching upon Ginger George’s policy:

The terrible reign of Ginger George,

We can all admit that we are hungry. The rations, limited by Ginger George, are not adequate to make dwarfs carry out their duties with their usual strength and stamina. Dwarfs like to eat, they are rather on the plump side, and deprived of proper nutrition, they cannot think sensibly and survive hard days of work. Vegetable minerals and vitamins deprived, dwarfs faint due to fatigue and they are taken to medical units. Ginger George however, seems to be as round as usual, while Billy Strong Fist is almost twice his previous size. Coincidence? Rather inequality. Some dwarfs dine as much as they please, some struggle to make ends meet.

We are deeply worried about some dwarfs’ disappearance, including Debbie Honest from The Kindergarten News and Hugh Small Talk from The Underground Wireless, who went to work as usual, but didn’t return to his family last Tuesday. It rarely happens that the only two people responsible for the circulation of information, who were flawlessly working for hundreds of years, disappear without any trace at the same time.

We are waiting for more actions of Ginger George, who proved himself to be a small, insecure and untalented ruler, one of the most pathetic we had ever had.

The team of Out of the Box.

The next day an official rule arrived, announcing on the information board:

The use of adjectives in the privately owned newspapers is from this day forbidden.

There was also not much discussion about rules.